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How To Do Break Up Sex - Tips
1.
Clear open communication
It is important that you know clearly about each other's feelings before you decide to sleep together. Just because you have sex does not necessarily mean that the other person wants to get back together. By talking openly, you both know how you feel about it and misunderstandings are avoided.
2.
Set boundaries
Think about the boundaries you want to set to ensure everyone involved feels good.
Examples:
-
That this is the last time you will have sex and then go your separate ways.
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That you need the space for a while afterwards.
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For example, that you only want to do it safely.
3.
Do it at the right time
Don't decide anything hastily. First, take the time to think about what you want and consider whether it is the smart thing to do. This way you avoid having regrets later, for example because you still have too many feelings. When one person longs to get back together, while the other is ready to move on, it's not a good idea to dive into the suitcase one last time.
4.
4.
Do it safely
Use contraceptives! It may seem awkward to discuss this with your ex, but it is important. Dare to be honest with each other. As painful as it sounds, you never know if your ex has shared the sheets with someone else in the meantime.
5.
Provide good aftercare
Check in with each other after sex to discuss how you liked the experience. Whether this is ultimately positive or negative, it is important to know about each other. If one person did not like it, this is important to indicate. If the other person felt more about it than expected, you can also discuss this. Maybe the other person had this too and you decide to try it again together.
Things to consider
- Remember that break-up sex doesn't necessarily provide closure. So don't expect this afterward.
- Break-up sex can be tough. There is a risk that you can feel even worse because all kinds of feelings come up again.
- Be aware of your position and remember that your ex can take advantage of the situation. 'Break-up sex research' has shown that men in particular benefit from break-up sex.
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