Today we're talking about a topic that many women deal with: pain during or after sex . Sex is of course great fun and enjoyable, but sometimes complaints can occur in the lower abdomen during and afterwards. Let's see what can happen, why it happens and what you can do to prevent it.

What is pain during sex?

Some women experience pain during sex when a penis or finger enters the vagina. This pain is often described as a burning pain. The pain may also be at the back of the vagina or felt in the lower abdomen. Furthermore, you may feel pain or burning after sex. In fact, it can hurt so much that you don't even want to have sex anymore. You can imagine that this can have negative effects on your relationship. In some women, the pain is even present all day long. The pain can also be felt when sitting, for example, and can cause a throbbing sensation at the entrance to the vagina. The latter usually occurs in women during or after menopause.

It is important to know that pain during sex or while fingering is not normal and should therefore not hurt. Yet it occurs relatively often. Pain during sex can have various causes. Pain is often caused by a condition or psychological cause.

How common is pain during sex in women?

About 20 out of 100 women sometimes experience pain during sex.
About 5 in 100 women often experience pain during sex.
About 11 in 100 women under the age of 25 often experience pain during sex.

What kind of pain can you feel during sex?

The pain you can feel during or after sex can be in different places:

• In your stomach. And especially in your lower abdomen. You can feel this during or after sex.
• Pain at the entrance to the vagina when the penis, sex toy or finger goes in. Most women describe it as a grinding, burning pain. The skin around the entrance to the vagina can also be painful when touched. This is also called dyspareunia . This pain can persist even after sex and can be felt especially when urinating.
• Pain deeper in the vagina. Especially noticeable during penetrative sex where the penis enters the vagina. This is also called deep dyspareunia .
• If you have to pee after having sex

Causes of pain during sex

You often have a suspicion as to what caused the pain: for example, a rough sex session or a well-hung partner. But sometimes there is more going on. Usually it is simply a completely harmless condition. Here we will give you an overview of different causes, from harmless to more serious causes:

1. Too big

Let's start with the most predictable cause. Too big a penis. People think it can be the best gift you can get: a (too) big penis. Of course you want to feel something, but the longest formats can also cause a lot of discomfort.

Your cervix can take quite a beating when that long, hard penis hits your cervix. This can cause deep pain and this can also be felt after sex. Think of it as internal bruising caused by the impact of the penis against the cervix.

The best solution for this is to sound the alarm and ask your partner if he or she can calm down a bit. Sometimes you have to build up even more excitement and start slower before he can thrust deeper and harder. Take some time to do this. When you are aroused, the uterus lies deeper, which means there is more space in your vagina and you are wetter, which makes it feel better.

It is also important that you relax and use some lubricant. If it still hurts after this, it might be wise to look for positions that don't allow him to reach as deep. There are even so-called 'bumpers' that ensure that penetration is less deep. Ohnut is an example of this. Of course it is not a miracle cure, but it is something you can try

2. Sex too rough

Actually the same story as with that oversized penis. Internal minor bruising can also occur if penetration against the cervix is ​​too hard. The only way to prevent this is to take it a little easier next time. The hard impact will cause pain in your lower abdomen.

3. You're not excited enough (yet).

It may take a while for your vagina to become moist , that is normal. When you are excited, your vagina usually becomes 'wet' on its own and penetration should be easy and painless. If the vagina is not yet aroused enough, it is not yet wet enough to be penetrated and your pelvic floor muscles may also be tense. However, there can be all kinds of reasons why your vagina does not become moist enough.

Causes of vaginal dryness:

• When you are too busy in your head
• Stress
• Due to traumatic experience with lovemaking
• Because of fear of pain
• If you are not satisfied with your sex life
• If you actually don't feel like having sex and don't dare to say so
• If you don't make enough time for lovemaking and foreplay
• If the penis or finger has been out for too long

What can you do if the vagina is not moist enough?

• Extensive foreplay is often the key to success. First try some kissing, fingering or cunnilingus. This often helps to get aroused.
• Still not enough? Certain medications can affect the moisture of your vulva. Can't get enough moisture? Then use a lubricant to make it easier. This should ease the pain
  
  
  

3. An overly full rectum

Yep, you probably didn't expect that and it doesn't sound very fresh either. Yet it can really be the cause of your problems during sex. If you experience bowel movement problems and the rectum is full, it can press against your vagina. To solve this problem, it is important to get your bowel movements going again. You do this by drinking enough water, exercising and eating fiber-rich food.

4. Pain in your abdomen or vagina because you are tense or nervous.

Although sex is fun, it can sometimes be exciting. Especially if you have never done it before or not that often. Or when you are going to do it with someone new or you feel a bit insecure. But it can also be because you have experienced something traumatic with sex that was not pleasant. In these cases it can make you feel tense. This can cause your pelvic floor muscles to tighten and penetration becomes painful. Have you experienced something unpleasant and would you like to talk about it? Then you can go to the Center for Sexual Violence (external link, opens in a new window) . Sometimes it helps to feel less tense by talking about it with the person you want to have sex with and explaining why you find it exciting. Think together about what you like.

5. A skin problem or inflammation.

Sometimes skin problems or inflammation can cause pain during sex. Consider: eczema, a fungus, the skin disease lichen sclerosus, a bladder infection or thin dry skin.

6. A latex or semen allergy

Latex allergy

There are quite a few people with a latex allergy, which means they cannot use regular condoms because they are made of latex. You may then experience an itching or burning sensation around and/or in your vagina after using a condom. Such an allergy can occur in the blink of an eye and can therefore surprise you if you never had any problems with it before. Fortunately, latex-free condoms also exist nowadays.

Semen allergy

Although this is extremely rare, it does occasionally happen that women are allergic to their partner's sperm. You notice this dry, swelling, itching and burning sensation that occurs after sex. If you don't have any problems after sex with a condom, then you may indeed have this problem.

If you have allergies, you should first contact your doctor. If necessary, he or she can refer you to an allergist or dermatologist.

7. A tilted uterus

The uterus is positioned normally in 90% of women. However, at 10% it is a bit further back. This phenomenon mainly occurs in Asian women. It sounds intense, but it's not that bad. However, it can cause some ailments such as stabbing pain during sex, stomach ache and back pain. In this case, try experimenting with different positions and discover which positions cause the least pain.

8. The menopause

During menopause it may take a little longer for the vagina to become moister. This is because the body produces less of the female hormone estrogen. This makes the inside of the vagina thinner and less flexible. This can cause dryness, irritation and itching and can make penetration painful. We then recommend that you use lubricant.

9. Disrupted hormone balance

A woman's hormone balance can be quite fickle and is not always stable. If there is a hormonal imbalance , less estrogen may be produced and, just like with ovulation, this may cause your vaginal tissue to become thinner. And thinner vaginal tissue often also means a more sensitive vagina, a drier vagina and less elasticity of the vaginal wall, which can cause a greater risk of infections and pain during sex. If you suspect that your hormone balance is out of balance, it is best to request a consultation with your GP or gynecologist.

10. Emotional causes

We've talked about this before. But pain during sex can also be caused by: stress, nerves, lack of desire or traumatic sexual experiences. This can cause you to have difficulty becoming damp and cramped. This can also cause vaginismus . If this is the reason for your pain, we recommend seeking professional help such as a psychologist or sexologist.

11. Cystitis

Bladder infections are a common female ailment. Another name is urinary tract infection . This is the collective name for all infections affecting the urinary tract: kidney, renal calyx, ureters, bladder, and urethra.

A common symptom is a burning sensation when urinating, but you do not always have to suffer from this. You may also only suffer from a nagging and oppressive pain in the lower abdomen. These symptoms can get worse after sex. Other symptoms of a bladder infection are: frequent urination, small amounts of urine, the feeling that you have not urinated properly, back pain and dark urine.

It is important to drink plenty of water and cranberry juice. If it does not go away on its own, you should go to the doctor for a course of antibiotics. It is important not to continue to suffer from these complaints for too long. The infection can then spread further and renal pelvic inflammation can develop. This is even more annoying.

And ladies, never forget to pee after sex. This reduces the risk of a bladder infection. By urinating after sex, you flush away unwanted bacteria.

12. Vaginal Yeast Infection

A yeast infection in the vagina is caused in more than 80% of cases by the yeast fungus Candida albicans .

All kinds of yeast fungi naturally live on the mucous membranes of your vagina. When the vaginal flora becomes out of balance - for example due to a factor such as semen - such a yeast fungus can start to multiply. This can lead to a fungal infection.

With a vaginal yeast infection you will experience itching, red, swollen and painful labia, a burning sensation and odorless, white lumpy discharge. This also makes penetration less pleasant and can only make the complaints worse. Because the mucous membranes of the vagina are damaged, even mini tears can occur due to friction.

Also keep in mind that as a woman you can infect your partner during sex. The other way around is not possible, so it is not seen as a venereal disease. However, it is annoying and we recommend visiting the drugstore or doctor. You can easily insert a vaginal capsule or cream that kills the fungus. Fortunately, complaints quickly subside after this.

13. Pain in your abdomen or vagina due to an STD

Do you have pain in your lower abdomen or vagina during or after sex? For example, if you go to pee afterwards? This could also be due to an STD . You usually also experience the pain at other times. So not just after sex.

Complaints of an STD in your vagina:

• Pain or burning sensation when urinating
• Pain and blood from your vagina during or after sex
• Blood from your vagina when you are not having your period
• More or other fluid from your vagina (discharge). Sometimes this doesn't smell good
• Severe pain in the lower abdomen
  
  

Chlamydia and gonorrhea
These are bacterial infections in the lower abdomen that show the same symptoms such as stabbing, cutting sensations in the lower abdomen. There may also be a burning sensation when urinating.

Genital herpes or genital warts
Ginital herpes is a viral infection and is therefore a different type of sexually transmitted disease. This infection is passed from mucous membrane to mucous membrane and never leaves the body. It can lie dormant in the body and only manifest itself much later or never.
Herpes is not dangerous, but causes a lot of discomfort. It causes a burning sensation in and around the vaginal opening. If you do get an outbreak, you may experience painful blisters that burst and turn into ulcers. This can cause a lot of discomfort and pain.

Genital warts are also an STD that you can usually see on the penis or vagina. You not only experience pain during sex, but often at other times as well. The complaints may also temporarily disappear and return later. Do you have herpes or warts on your penis or vagina? Then it is better to wait with sex until the complaints have disappeared. Do you think you might have herpes or warts? Then go to your doctor.

Do you have these complaints?	Then you might have:
Pain when urinating	Chlamydia
	Gonorrhea
	Herpes
	Trichomonas
Pain near your vagina when you have sex	Chlamydia
Pain near the vagina	Herpes Genital Warts
Pain in the abdomen in women	Chlamydia
	Gonorrhea

Do you have any of these complaints? Please contact your doctor or take the STD check testhere .

Continuing with complaints for too long is not an option. Did you know that certain STDs can cause infertility and other serious consequences? Our advice is that it is better to have too many visits to the doctor than too few.

14. Fluid blisters on ovaries

Fluid blisters on the ovaries - also called ovarian cysts - are usually benign and disappear on their own within three months (after your period). However, it can temporarily cause pain in the left or right side after sex. If the cyst is large, it can also cause abdominal pain and cramps during and especially after sex. If you suspect you are suffering from this, make an appointment with your doctor to be sure.

15. Endometriosis

About 1 in 10 women suffer from endometriosis . This is a chronic condition in which the uterine lining also grows in places outside the uterus. This tissue causes chronic inflammation and a common symptom is abdominal pain.

This can cause prolonged severe abdominal pain during menstruation. Endometriosis can also cause persistent abdominal pain during and after sex. It is described as a deep, sharp abdominal pain. Other symptoms include: abdominal pain, fatigue, bloating, diarrhea or constipation around menstruation, leg pain and insomnia.

Not every woman with this condition experiences these severe symptoms. Do you suspect that you may also suffer from endometriosis? Please contact your doctor.

16. Fibroids

A fibroid is a benign growth in the muscle wall of the uterus. In some cases, a fibroid grows into a tumor. It is still unclear why these fibroids develop in some women.

Complaints of a fibroid:

• Stomach ache
• Pressing feeling in the lower abdomen
• Pain that radiates to the back
• Pain during and after sex

More advice & tips for combating and preventing pain during sex

Use a vibrator

If you experience pain or fear during sex, you can first practice with a vibrator. By experimenting slowly and alone with a suitable vibrator, you can learn to enjoy the excitement and sensations without tension again. This way you can practice relaxing your pelvic floor muscles so that penetration should be easier. Learn what really turns you on, which will help you get wet and relaxed. You also remain sexually active if you masturbate regularly. This ensures that your sexual organs maintain good blood flow and therefore keeps the vagina in good condition. A vibrator is therefore a useful tool.

Take time to get aroused and for foreplay

You may have to put more effort into becoming aroused. Make time for it so you can feel relaxed and get 'wet'. Don't skip foreplay and take your time and attention for each other.

Use lubricant or soothing and protective cream.

After all the tips, are you still having trouble getting wet or is there another reason why it is difficult? Be sure to always use lubricant! You can also use a soothing cream such as Vaseline-paraffin to keep everything smooth down below.

Experiment with different positions

Learn which positions feel comfortable for you and do not cause pain. For example, it can also be nice to do positions where you as a woman have control. This way you can decide for yourself what feels good and how deep it goes.

Try sex without intercourse

Experiment with other forms of community. For example, choose to give or receive an erotic massage or delve into tantra. During the time when sex is not actually taking place, the painful spots can take time to heal. It is also fun to discover new ways to connect with each other.

Pelvic floor exercises

If the pain you experience during sex is caused by overly tense pelvic floor muscles, it can help to learn to control these muscles. By tightening these muscles, the vagina becomes narrower and penetration of the penis can become even more painful. If you know how to use your pelvic floor muscles, you also know how to relax them.

Talk about it and seek professional help

Talk about your pain complaints with your partner, family or friends. Maybe they can help you with this and they may also recognize this problem. By talking, listening and practicing with your partner, you can trust and understand each other better. The pleasure in making love can come back completely. So pain during sex is actually not allowed. So if you experience this, it is wise to visit the doctor or contact a sexologist to be sure. In most cases it is nothing serious, but it is still smart to have it checked out.

Advice on how to take good care of the vagina

To wash:

• Wash the entrance to the vagina with lukewarm water no more than once a day
• Do not use soap or shower gel when washing the vagina. Also do not use soap-free products, vaginal rinses or other special vaginal products that are available at the drugstore. All these remedies can actually irritate the vagina more and cause infections.
• Gently pat the entrance to the vagina dry after washing. Don't scrub too hard with your towel, as this can irritate the vagina.

Clothing and underwear

• Wear cotton underwear that is not too tight. Synthetic substances do not allow oxygen to pass through, which makes it easy for bacteria to breed. This can otherwise cause fungal infections.
• If you use panty liners, use panty liners that are made of cotton.
• Wear pants that are not too tight
• Put on something dry as soon as possible after swimming or exercising. Wet clothing can dry out and irritate the vagina.
• Sleep without underpants or with cotton underpants
• Do not sit for more than an hour. Get up regularly

Eating, drinking and going to the toilet

• Eat enough fiber and drink enough water every day.
• Use soft white toilet paper without perfume.
• Do not use wet wipes
• Do not hold your urine for too long and always urinate thoroughly.

When having your period:

• Use cotton sanitary towels or tampons without perfume
• Change your sanitary pads or tampons every 4 hours or more quickly if you lose a lot of blood.
• Use a menstrual cup
  
  

Sports and exercise

• Make sure you have a bicycle saddle that fits comfortably
• When riding, make sure you wear pants that fit well
• After exercising, put on clean, dry clothes as soon as possible
• Vaginal pain after exercise? Then hold an ice pack with a towel around it against the entrance to the vagina.

Of course, these are just suggestions and it is important to listen to your own body. If the pain persists or worsens, do not hesitate to seek professional advice.

Let's wrap it up

So there you have it! Pain during or after sex can be caused by various factors, such as an STD or endometriosis. It is important to listen to your body and take action if you experience discomfort. But don't worry, there are solutions and treatments available that can help you. So breathe in, breathe out and step out of that fear zone!

Thanks for reading, dear readers! I hope this article has helped you gain some more insight into pain during or after sex. Always remember that health is a priority, so don't hesitate to seek help if you need it. Stay safe and keep smiling!